I am happy to report that my knee and leg have held up fantastically this week. Just a few months ago, I wasn't able to run two days in a row without pain. I was able to run 3 days in a row this week with no pain. So here's how it went:
Sunday - Long run, 7 miles (finished the last mile at 8:39)
Monday - Swam 1 mile (should have taken the day off)
Tuesday - 4 miles at 5k pace
Wednesday - 3 miles, felt tired
Thursday - 3 miles..really slow and really tired. Legs felt very heavy.
Friday - Rest. And a massage!
Saturday - Long run, still at 7 miles. Felt pretty good after the day of rest.
I was supposed to run outside with the marathon training group, but I couldn't pull myself out of bed at 6 am knowing that it was only a few degrees outside. 7 miles on the treadmill isn't a party, but it's bearable. I can probably do next week's long run on the treadmill. After that, I'm going to start needing the company of others. Anything over 1.5 hrs running by yourself gets extremely boring. I am looking forward to meeting new people in the running group - I always manage to find really interesting people to run with. I think that's part of why I like the long distances; the conversations I end up having (really, my part is mostly limited to grunts and head nodding) are surprising. There's always an undercurrent of optimism in these people that makes me feel better about life and helps me forget about the tired legs.
New Season
Today's run was my first "long run" of the new training season. I put in 7.5 miles, which will pale in comparison to what I'll be doing in a few months - assuming I don't get sidelined again.
This run didn't feel fantastic, and it's by no means representative of what I hope my marathon finish will be like, but it's the first one so I'll cut myself some slack.
Still, I'm relentlessly hard on myself so I need objective measurements. I haven't yet repeated last year's races (Fetzer 20k will be the first opportunity), but I can compare where I am this year at my first long run of the season to last year - when I was just getting started after several years of no running. Here's a direct comparison:
January 2009
- Still smoking
- Somewhere around 20 lbs heavier
- Long run pace of 11-12 min/mile
- Willing to run in -13 degree weather...outside!
January 2010
- Smoke free for almost a year
- 20 lbs lighter, plus increased muscle mass (about 15% less body fat)
- Long run pace of 9:40 min/mile
- Much wimpier about the weather I'll run in (or more sane?)
There are numerous other areas in my life where I would like to make as much progress. I'm sad that I haven't and I'm getting very impatient. I think the reason I've always liked running is that the results are usually pretty consistent with the amount of effort I put forth in training. The frustrating thing is that I don't seem to be able to achieve these same results with other areas of my life. So many things are outside my locus of control. The objectivity I need now is to resolve what IS within my locus of control in these other areas. I'm not in a place at this point in my life to wait for help from others. Is it depressing to think that as long as you keep waiting for that help, you'll probably never get it. Or is it realistic? Or am I just going through post-divorce disillusionment?
Whatever. When everything else fails, there is the run.
On to less solemn topics.
I experimented with some kinesio taping, that Sports Authority finally started to carry. Here's the technique I used:
I can't scientifically test the method of taping that I'm using (vs. no taping at all), but I'm willing to keep using it as long as I can keep running without injury. I do feel much stronger.
Always do what you can with what you got.
This run didn't feel fantastic, and it's by no means representative of what I hope my marathon finish will be like, but it's the first one so I'll cut myself some slack.
Still, I'm relentlessly hard on myself so I need objective measurements. I haven't yet repeated last year's races (Fetzer 20k will be the first opportunity), but I can compare where I am this year at my first long run of the season to last year - when I was just getting started after several years of no running. Here's a direct comparison:
January 2009
- Still smoking
- Somewhere around 20 lbs heavier
- Long run pace of 11-12 min/mile
- Willing to run in -13 degree weather...outside!
January 2010
- Smoke free for almost a year
- 20 lbs lighter, plus increased muscle mass (about 15% less body fat)
- Long run pace of 9:40 min/mile
- Much wimpier about the weather I'll run in (or more sane?)
There are numerous other areas in my life where I would like to make as much progress. I'm sad that I haven't and I'm getting very impatient. I think the reason I've always liked running is that the results are usually pretty consistent with the amount of effort I put forth in training. The frustrating thing is that I don't seem to be able to achieve these same results with other areas of my life. So many things are outside my locus of control. The objectivity I need now is to resolve what IS within my locus of control in these other areas. I'm not in a place at this point in my life to wait for help from others. Is it depressing to think that as long as you keep waiting for that help, you'll probably never get it. Or is it realistic? Or am I just going through post-divorce disillusionment?
Whatever. When everything else fails, there is the run.
On to less solemn topics.
I experimented with some kinesio taping, that Sports Authority finally started to carry. Here's the technique I used:
I can't scientifically test the method of taping that I'm using (vs. no taping at all), but I'm willing to keep using it as long as I can keep running without injury. I do feel much stronger.
Always do what you can with what you got.
Tommorow is D-Day
It's been almost two years since we've separated our selves, our stuff, our schedules with the children. Tomorrow we're due in court. I have no idea what to expect. To get questioned? Yelled at?
The thing is, I have no lawyer. Can't afford one. The soon-to-be ex ha a very expensive one. The settlement is obviously not in my favor, but I'm not in a place (financial or mental) to try to fight it. There are times when you need to fight and there are times when your energy is better spent picking up and moving on with what you've got.
I'm ready for it to be over.
I want my last name back. I want back the final few pieces of myself I haven't yet already put together again.
The narrative of my life is mine again. And an intrinsic thread in that narrative is my need for self-improvement. I fell short of the marathon and have been experimenting with other sports (swimming, biking) to keep myself busy, with some really interesting results.
I will still do the marathon in 2010, but a triathlon &/or masters' swim competitions are likely in my future.
The thing is, I have no lawyer. Can't afford one. The soon-to-be ex ha a very expensive one. The settlement is obviously not in my favor, but I'm not in a place (financial or mental) to try to fight it. There are times when you need to fight and there are times when your energy is better spent picking up and moving on with what you've got.
I'm ready for it to be over.
I want my last name back. I want back the final few pieces of myself I haven't yet already put together again.
The narrative of my life is mine again. And an intrinsic thread in that narrative is my need for self-improvement. I fell short of the marathon and have been experimenting with other sports (swimming, biking) to keep myself busy, with some really interesting results.
I will still do the marathon in 2010, but a triathlon &/or masters' swim competitions are likely in my future.
TCM
So I pulled out of the Twin Cities Marathon. It's been a few weeks since the marathon and I'm trying still to accept reality. I can be fairly thickheaded.
I still went up to St. Paul to watch the finish. I did well up with tears a few times over being a spectator rather than a participant. The energy of the event was what I anticipated: enthusiastic, supportive, celebratory - it just had an undertone of sadness for me.
Right after I posted about my pride over my 40 mile week in August, I started to encounter ITB isssues. It's the acronym for the much maligned Iliotibial Band Syndrome. It's a not-too-uncommon injury in runners. For women it's associated with weak glutes (me), weighing more than 135 (me), long runs of more than 2 hours a week (me), and hill training (me). I had it diagnosed and was told it was "textbook". Hey, at least I can finally check "having done something by the textbook" off my bucket list.
Anyway, lots of physical therapy, cortisone injections, NSAIDS, you name it, it didn't help much. I was advised not to do the marathon. So I just watched it. That's about 16 weeks of training for nothing.
Still, I'm glad I went to watch. I saw some pretty amazing things and although it was frustrating, it deepened my desire to complete one.
I'm still on rest. The last time I tried to run it flared up with intensity, so I'm doing other things: swimming and weight training among them.
And in the mean time, I'm contemplating longer-term goals.
Clearly I need to finish the marathon before moving on to a triathlon...but having the long-term goal in mind helps keep me focused on the smaller ones.
I still went up to St. Paul to watch the finish. I did well up with tears a few times over being a spectator rather than a participant. The energy of the event was what I anticipated: enthusiastic, supportive, celebratory - it just had an undertone of sadness for me.
Right after I posted about my pride over my 40 mile week in August, I started to encounter ITB isssues. It's the acronym for the much maligned Iliotibial Band Syndrome. It's a not-too-uncommon injury in runners. For women it's associated with weak glutes (me), weighing more than 135 (me), long runs of more than 2 hours a week (me), and hill training (me). I had it diagnosed and was told it was "textbook". Hey, at least I can finally check "having done something by the textbook" off my bucket list.
Anyway, lots of physical therapy, cortisone injections, NSAIDS, you name it, it didn't help much. I was advised not to do the marathon. So I just watched it. That's about 16 weeks of training for nothing.
Still, I'm glad I went to watch. I saw some pretty amazing things and although it was frustrating, it deepened my desire to complete one.
I'm still on rest. The last time I tried to run it flared up with intensity, so I'm doing other things: swimming and weight training among them.
And in the mean time, I'm contemplating longer-term goals.
Clearly I need to finish the marathon before moving on to a triathlon...but having the long-term goal in mind helps keep me focused on the smaller ones.
Surprising run
I felt like crap today.
My legs were tired and I just felt empty.
Instead of thinking about it, I just put my running gear on and ran.
3 miles into it I felt right. Kicked up the pace and my brain finally shut off. My body did what it was supposed to do. I don't know how better to explain it than I was doing exactly what I was meant to be doing right at that moment. With my thoughts finally giving way and me tuned into the hum of my body, I felt close to something divine.
My legs were tired and I just felt empty.
Instead of thinking about it, I just put my running gear on and ran.
3 miles into it I felt right. Kicked up the pace and my brain finally shut off. My body did what it was supposed to do. I don't know how better to explain it than I was doing exactly what I was meant to be doing right at that moment. With my thoughts finally giving way and me tuned into the hum of my body, I felt close to something divine.
New Milestone
I finally reached 40 miles in one week. And, did 17 miles at one time. Or something very close to that.
Yesterday morning's run was not only long, but terribly hot,and terribly slow. I felt pretty good throughout most of it, though. Because I was running with a group also training for a marathon, we all did a pretty good job of taking care of ourselves during the run, including lots of water stops and electrolyte replacement.
Here's a couple lessons I learned on yesterday's long run:
1) Ice down the bra helps a lot
2) At about mile 12, I start to need more than just gels
3) I don't know what to eat after mile 12 because I tried a powerbar and, as before, it sat in my stomach like a rock and caused lots of cramps and pains. So I need to keep experimenting. Something more substantial, but not so hard to digest.
Not too bad, actually. Considering I had a hard week of running leading up to that, my body managed to maintain fairly well. Some ITB pain crept up during the run, so I need to start being more cognizant of stretching regularly and start icing after all of my runs. It was also suggested that I get a foam roller made specifically for stretching the ITB. Not sure what this is so I'm going to do some investigating today.
Overall, it felt good. I'm on track.
I know I will have moments in the future when I look back on this period of my life, and in those moments I'll wonder if it's really worth it to work this hard for running. And to my future self I want to say "Yes, it is most definitely worth it. I feel better than I have felt in years, and am in probably the best shape of my life." Should that not be enough, I just need to picture Judy's legs. The leader of our running group is 50 this year and she has the most fantastic legs on any woman (or man) I've seen!
Yesterday morning's run was not only long, but terribly hot,and terribly slow. I felt pretty good throughout most of it, though. Because I was running with a group also training for a marathon, we all did a pretty good job of taking care of ourselves during the run, including lots of water stops and electrolyte replacement.
Here's a couple lessons I learned on yesterday's long run:
1) Ice down the bra helps a lot
2) At about mile 12, I start to need more than just gels
3) I don't know what to eat after mile 12 because I tried a powerbar and, as before, it sat in my stomach like a rock and caused lots of cramps and pains. So I need to keep experimenting. Something more substantial, but not so hard to digest.
Not too bad, actually. Considering I had a hard week of running leading up to that, my body managed to maintain fairly well. Some ITB pain crept up during the run, so I need to start being more cognizant of stretching regularly and start icing after all of my runs. It was also suggested that I get a foam roller made specifically for stretching the ITB. Not sure what this is so I'm going to do some investigating today.
Overall, it felt good. I'm on track.
I know I will have moments in the future when I look back on this period of my life, and in those moments I'll wonder if it's really worth it to work this hard for running. And to my future self I want to say "Yes, it is most definitely worth it. I feel better than I have felt in years, and am in probably the best shape of my life." Should that not be enough, I just need to picture Judy's legs. The leader of our running group is 50 this year and she has the most fantastic legs on any woman (or man) I've seen!
Lost!
Yeah, it's goofy, but I'm doing it anyway - I'm posting lyrics to a favorite song.
These lyrics resonate with me in many of the same way running does.
(Coldplay - Lost!)
Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I would cross
Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get
What I deserved
No better and no worse
I just got lost
Every river that I tried to cross
Every door I ever tried was locked
Ohhh and I'm...
Just waiting 'til the shine wears off
You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
Cause along may come
A bigger one
And you'll be lost
Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Ohhh and I'm...
Just waiting until the firing stopped
Ohhh and I'm...
Just waiting 'til the shine wears off
I'm
Just waiting 'til the shine wears off
Ohhh and I..
Just waiting 'til the shine wears off
Running is a beautifully competitive sport. You are always chasing a rabbit, but the one you ultimately compete against is yourself. That's one of the many places life and running intersect for me.
Many times I've caught that rabbit. Once you catch it, the fulfillment is gone. The fun was in the chase. It's an equation that can set you up for a lifetime of despair or for a lifetime of self improvement. Yeah, getting that rabbit doesn't fill that need, but that's ok because the need is to get better. And there is always room for better.
So, I'm smitten with myself tonight. Comparing my mile times this afternoon to a few months ago. I'm a big fish in my own little pond.
The shine will soon wear off, but I'm appreciating it for now. And I'm appreciating my knee for magically healing enough for me to run 4.5 miles with 800-meter repeats of 7 mph (3 of them!). I actually feel better tonight than I did last night.
Loving my little pond.
These lyrics resonate with me in many of the same way running does.
(Coldplay - Lost!)
Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I would cross
Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get
What I deserved
No better and no worse
I just got lost
Every river that I tried to cross
Every door I ever tried was locked
Ohhh and I'm...
Just waiting 'til the shine wears off
You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
Cause along may come
A bigger one
And you'll be lost
Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Ohhh and I'm...
Just waiting until the firing stopped
Ohhh and I'm...
Just waiting 'til the shine wears off
I'm
Just waiting 'til the shine wears off
Ohhh and I..
Just waiting 'til the shine wears off
Running is a beautifully competitive sport. You are always chasing a rabbit, but the one you ultimately compete against is yourself. That's one of the many places life and running intersect for me.
Many times I've caught that rabbit. Once you catch it, the fulfillment is gone. The fun was in the chase. It's an equation that can set you up for a lifetime of despair or for a lifetime of self improvement. Yeah, getting that rabbit doesn't fill that need, but that's ok because the need is to get better. And there is always room for better.
So, I'm smitten with myself tonight. Comparing my mile times this afternoon to a few months ago. I'm a big fish in my own little pond.
The shine will soon wear off, but I'm appreciating it for now. And I'm appreciating my knee for magically healing enough for me to run 4.5 miles with 800-meter repeats of 7 mph (3 of them!). I actually feel better tonight than I did last night.
Loving my little pond.